Barrett’s Birth Story

Our Barrett Ezekiel was born on July 3rd, 2019 at 10:05pm weighing 7 lbs and 20 inches.

We found out that we were expecting him last fall, when Fletcher was just over 10 months old and on November 6th which was the due date of the sweet baby we miscarried between Cannon+Fletcher….God is faithful and good and we are so undeserving of this beautiful family we’re growing.

The last few months of my pregnancy with this little man were really hard.  I felt terrible almost everyday and physically I was just really shot. That was difficult as I was caring for two very busy toddlers and trying to keep up with everything and have joy in the midst of it all. God was good to sustain us and the last weekend before Barrett was born was so sweet because I actually felt really good physically, I got a big burst of energy, I felt beautiful and I was able to just ENJOY being pregnant and that was such a sweet gift. We had the best family weekend and savored every moment of being a family of four.

On Tuesday, July 2nd at 38+4- I walked the boys to the park in the late afternoon and I felt some contractions that seemed like maybe something. I texted Adam about it but by the time I got the boys home, fed, and put in bed…things were dying down.  I got the house cleaned up really well and organized a bunch just a case, but by 9pm with nothing happening, I tried to get to sleep and get as much rest as possible.
I woke up around 5 am with more contractions and a strong feeling that it was baby day.
With a full nights rest I proceeded to try to get things going and all morning I had consistent contractions 3-4 min apart and then 5-6 minutes apart….all consistent but never crazy strong and never a clear indication that we needed to call the midwife or imminently get to the birth center.
Adam went ahead and went to work at 1pm, and I walked the boys to the park after their nap around 3.  The contractions were getting stronger and had never really let up throughout the day- so finally around 4 I called the midwife.  Her advice was to drop our kiddos off with friends and then she felt like my body would kind of kick it into gear.
Walked home…having to work through contractions a little bit by then.  We grabbed our bags and packed the kids up and dropped them off with our friends.  Adam and I then went to get gas and grab food at Subway before meeting our midwife at the birth center around 6:30pm.

When we got there she checked me and I was at a 5.  Initially labor slowed a bit as we arrived at the birth center and got settled in.
Adam and I labored a lot outside as it was a beautiful Alaska evening.  We did a lot of laps in the parking lot, working through contractions and then talking/catching up about life in between.  We laughed a lot, I remember that…and honestly we had fun in between the contractions and before things got really intense.

Around maybe 8/8:30 we headed inside…listened to music and had to get more intentional about positioning and working through contractions.  Right before 9pm…just as I was hitting transition, I had a really emotional moment and cried a lot just thinking of how our family was going to change, thinking about my boys, and so grateful to be so close to meeting our Barrett baby.  Adam and I shared that moment and it was so sweet and our midwife had the sweetest words for us too.
Once I hit transition- it was intense! My water had not broken yet and I was getting so tired but I knew we were going to meet our baby so soon.

It was nostalgic a bit because we chose to birth in the same room as both Cannon and Fletcher were born in.  They were both born in the water and I think I knew this third time around that that would feel like my safe space to push this baby out.  From transition to shortly after he was born was a little bit hard for me because I felt like it got so intense that I actually couldn’t get a handle on the pain, the process, and I felt so out of control.

The pushing was short but crazy intense.  During one of my first pushes, my water broke and he basically just shot down and was suddenly crowning.  This part was nuts and I had to push a couple more times before he was totally out and on my chest.
It took him longer to cry than my other boys I think cause that last part was so quick.
I LOVED that moment of holding him right after he was born.  One of the best moments of my life.

He looked so much like Cannon and Fletcher, that was so fun to see…and we had the best time snuggling him and and cuddling before we headed home for a good night sleep with our tiniest baby.

Going through labor with my man always makes me fall in love with him a little deeper.  He’s the best support, the most encouraging, and just so sturdy for me to lean on emotionally.  So grateful for him.

This sweet baby boy is such a gift, a blessing, and a miracle.  Grateful beyond words that he’s part of our family.  We love you Barrett Ezekiel….God has good plans for you my son.

Autumn Evening

Our summer seemed to fly by and here we are in September again which feels so hard to believe. August was so rainy and dreary and September has been BEAUTIFUL and we’ve been soaking it in and enjoying as much of this weather as we can before it turns cold.

In the evening, we love to go out for a walk around the neighborhood, or head to a park to let the boys play for a while before bedtime.  The fall colors are just gorgeous right now so it’s been so nice to get out and enjoy them.
Cannon LOVES playing at playgrounds these days, swinging, and going down slides. He’s getting more and more brave and independent as well, which is super fun to see.
And Fletcher just loves the fresh air, crawling around in the grass and trying to eat leaves!

I don’t feel totally ready to head into the dark and cold season of winter yet- but I’m also looking forward to hibernating a little bit, slowing down a bit, and spending more time in our home.
We’ve lived in our house for over a year now and done a lot of work to it, and it’s feeling so cozy as we’re about to head into another winter which I’m so grateful for. 

Looking at these pictures fills my heart with so much joy- these three guys are incredible blessings and I’m so thankful for the family God has blessed me with.

Fletcher’s Birth Story

Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly be pregnant another day….Fletcher was born!  And I’m SOO grateful to have him here with us and to be getting to know this sweet babe.

Being pregnant is beautiful and a miracle and really I’m so grateful for good health all the way through and carrying this little man to full term, but I have to be honest and say that being pregnant isn’t my favorite thing ever.  By the end I was SO uncomfortable and SOO ready to be done.

We were trying to wait patiently, but really we were so anxious to meet this little man and on Wednesday December 27th at 9:40pm he came into the world and we couldn’t be more thankful for his life.

On Wednesday morning, I took Cannon out bright and early for a walk around the mall and I literally felt like I had a baby between my legs.  Fletcher was so low, I felt like I was just waddling around looking ridiculous…but at the same time I felt like I was gonna be pregnant forever and was kinda weepy about everything that day.
We did a bunch of laps, came home and thankfully Cannon took a good nap and I did a bunch of chores.  I had an app with my midwife scheduled in the afternoon and Adam was gonna come with me.  Everything went good and my midwife went ahead and checked my cervix, letting me know that I was dilated to 4cm and was 50% effaced.  She said that all seemed really great and she predicted that she’d probably be hearing from me in a few days.

We went home, encouraged that things were happening, and that my body was at least getting ready.  I made tacos for dinner and since Cannon had been kinda sick, we decided to put him to bed a little bit early.  About 6:15pm, Adam and I were both laying on the floor in Cannon’s room, reading him books and I looked at Adam and was like “did you hear that?” I had heard a little snap or pop or something and figured it was just Fletcher moving around weird or something and didn’t think about it again.

I laid Cannon in his bed and walked into my room to change into comfortable clothes and I felt a gush down my leg.  I called Adam immediately and I was like “I mean, I could have just peed myself, but I’m pretty sure that was my water breaking!”  After another big gush, we both knew that’s what that was. That was about 6:25pm.  I hadn’t had any contractions yet…and I knew they may not even start until the next day so we decided to just kinda wait it out and see what was gonna happen.  5 min later, my contractions started and I knew immediately that it was the real thing.  We started timing them right away and they were coming for 30-40 seconds every 2.5 min very consistently.

We finished packing our bag for the birth center, cleaned the kitchen, straightened the house up, and gave our friend who would be watching Cannon a heads up that we were just starting labor and that we’d keep her posted.

We called our midwife around 7pm and made plans to meet her at the birth center at 8:30pm.  We then asked our friend to come over at 8pm to be with Cannon.

By 8, I was SO glad that our friend was here cause I knew we needed to get going.
The ride to the birth center was TERRIBLE.  I was in so much pain, and having to sit mostly still was really really hard.  But it was also comical because I was moaning and in terrible pain for a minute during the contractions but then in between we were laughing and talking like it was no big thing.

When we got there, my midwife was watching me in contractions and I could tell she was like, “Oh yeah, there’s gonna be a baby here soon”…and she called in a birth assistant right away.
We labored for a little bit and with each contraction, things were for sure picking up.
Around 9pm she checked my cervix again and I was at 6cm and 100% effaced.  She said that was super good progress and that we were doing amazing.

Things continued to really pick up and I was in a ton of pain. The contractions were FOR REAL.  It didn’t seem like too much longer that I was mid-contraction and kind of freaked out, because low and behold- I was ready to push!  It was just Adam and I in the room and then we called for some help.  I was leaning over the bed and my midwife said whatever position I wanted to be in was totally fine.
Adam (the best birth partner EVER!) could sense that I didn’t like that position for pushing and that I was really scared and asked if they would fill the birth tub since I had given birth to Cannon in the water, he thought that would be more familiar for me.

As soon as the tub was filled, I got in and four contractions and 10 min later, Fletcher was out and on my chest and it was BEAUTIFUL.

In a whirlwind labor and delivery, our perfect little man arrived in 3 hours and 15 min from water breaking to birth at 7 lbs 8 oz and 20.5 inches long.

We got to be in the tub for a little bit and when it was time, Adam cut his umbilical cord and we moved onto the bed for some snuggle time as a family!
Fletcher was so alert and so calm, and he nursed very shortly after being born which was so so sweet.

There weren’t any complications and so we were able to head home at about 12:45, and we were tucked into our bed by 1:15 and able to get several hours of sleep (I didn’t sleep much since it was a pretty big adrenaline rush!) before Cannon woke up to a brand new baby brother!

What an experience!
It was vastly different than Cannon’s birth- and SO much faster.  But it was hard and crazy and beautiful, and I’m so grateful for a healthy baby boy and for God’s perfect timing in all of it which is what we had really prayed for.
It was special because Fletcher was born in the same room, and same tub as Cannon was- and we had the same birth assistant as well, so that was really great!  Our midwife was different but equally as wonderful as the midwife we had with Cannon.  We are so grateful for the wonderful care that we received!

 

The picture on the left was one I snapped really quick before heading to the birth center-  Fletcher would be born less than two hours later!  And the picture on the right is when he was a little less than 48 hours old!

God made our bodies SO incredibly!  Life is such a miracle, and it’s a mystery how this guy fit inside my belly!

 

He’s the cutest little dude and we love him so much!  Glad you’re here and part of our family little Fletcher man!

Cannon’s Birth Story

Almost there!

We are SOO close to meeting our Baby Fletcher and I can hardly wait to see his face and to kiss his cheeks!

I’m bouncing on my yoga ball, drinking all the Red Raspberry Leaf tea, and walking laps at the mall with all the old ladies!

This last month or more of pregnancy has felt really difficult physically.  I’ve had constant heartburn, back pain, rib pain, tons of itching, and most recently…very swollen ankles 😦
I’ve struggled to have a good attitude in the midst of all these really not-so-fun symptoms.  I’ve found myself struggling to enjoy the last bit of our time as a family of three, wanting to rush into a new season and start to feel better.
I KNOW that having a newborn won’t be totally relaxing and easy and all that…but I am feeling quite anxious to be done with pregnancy.

I’ve been doing a simple Advent calendar with Cannon and it’s been a fun countdown to celebrating Christmas- and also a bit of a countdown for me to baby time for our family.
There is definitely some beauty in being pregnant this time of year when remembering the Christmas story and the most beautiful gift our world has received…Christ coming as a baby.

So, days or weeks left with this big ole’ tummy…I’m praying for patience and grace and trust in God’s GOOD timing for our family and for all the change that will come as we add another little one to our clan.

Fletcher, I can’t wait to meet you!

18 Months

Cannon Elijah,

How are you a year and a half old??  Time flies buddy and sometimes I feel like you wake up taller or bigger in the morning than when I put you to bed.

You are talking so much and you know tons of words.  You are a social butterfly and you say “Hi” to everyone we see at the grocery store or post office or anywhere. I’m grateful for your joy and your sweet personality.

You’re so busy, but for as much as I chase you around- you still really enjoy being held too! (mostly you want to be held while I am trying to cook dinner 🙂

You know all your colors, are getting good at recognizing letters, and you’re into airplanes, mail trucks, school buses, tractors, firetrucks, etc.

You know all the parts of the body, even eyebrow, chin, ankle, and elbow!  We started having you help with chores and clean up your toys and you do a great job with that!  You love any chore where you get to press a button…starting the dishwasher, grinding the coffee, etc.

While we are preparing for another little boy to join our family next month, we are soaking in a ton of fun memories with you and we’re so excited to watch you become a big brother.
Love you sweet boy,
Mama

 

Remember

“We will sing, to our souls
We won’t bury our hope
Where He leads us to go, 
There’s a Red Sea road
When we can’t see the way
He will part the waves
And we’ll never walk alone
Down the Red Sea road”

-Ellie Holcomb “Red Sea Road”

 

I’m currently 32 weeks and some change pregnant with our son Fletcher whom we are getting so excited to meet sometime next month!
And it feels weird to be rejoicing over his life and yet grieving today as November 6th was our second baby’s due date.  With a goofy toddler running around eating us out of goldfish and veggie straws and a big belly in front of me with a healthy but still cooking little one kicking around, we are so so blessed and really grateful for the family that God is blessing us with.

But of course we are saddened because losing a baby is never easy no matter how long you get with them.  I can say that my heart longs for eternity in a new way because I ache for the restoration and redemption that God will bring to all things.

While I wish that I had a tiny newborn in my arms right now and that our sweet one would have had a chance to be in our family here on earth..I’m so grateful for God’s faithfulness, His kindness, and His work in our lives.
And no matter the struggle, the hardship or the heartbreak…we never have to walk through a single day alone.

I’m grateful for the 7 weeks I got with our baby and for the work that God has done on my heart through loving and losing a little tiny someone who I really really cherished.

We’re not in control of anything in this life and trusting God for healthy children is so tender and so worth leaving in His hands.

 

 

Pregnancy Update

30 Weeks!  We’re a few weeks into the 3rd trimester and heading into the home stretch with baby Fletcher.

Even though I’m feeling pretty large and in charge these days, I’m really grateful to still be mostly feeling good as we’re starting to get close to his arrival.

Cannon loves kissing baby and knows that there’s a baby in mama’s tummy.
We have appointments every two weeks these days and although I haven’t done one single thing to get ready for adding another baby, I’m feeling like pretty soon here I need to do a little nesting and organizing to get ready for this little man to join our family!

I’m feeling excited these days as I think of becoming a family of four and how our dynamic will change with that. I can’t wait to see Cannon as a big brother.

And although I’m feeling apprehensive about the sleep deprivation of a newborn while also trying to keep up with a busy toddler- I’m so excited for newborn snuggles again! There’s nothing like a brand new baby and I’m so grateful I will get to experience it again!

Cannon Boy

Cannon Elijah, 
You bring such an incredible amount of joy to our lives…I could sit and tell cute and funny stories about you all day long if someone would listen.
I love the person that you are and that you are becoming and I’m so so proud of you.

You’re just over 16 months old and I’ll probably keep saying this for a long time, but this is such a fun season with you! You are learning every day and you do so many things that make us smile and laugh!
You sign so well saying “please” “more” “all done” “thank you” “help” etc, and you know how to say a lot of words as well!  Your favorites are: ball, light, loud, turtle, bug, moon, mama, dada, nose, belly, more, water, cold and of course, no!
We love this stage of you learning to communicate and seeing your personality come out in that way.

You like coloring with crayons, reading books (all day every day), being outside, taking baths, playing at the park, singing, and carrying your ra-ra (rabbit) with you everywhere you go.

You’ve had such a fun summer and we’ve loved seeing you experience new things and enjoy the world around you.

I love everything about you sweet boy.  Your sandy blond hair, your amazing blue eyes, your pruny little thumb, your curiosity, and your observant self.  It’s so fun to watch you grow and learn with each new day.

I pray that God gives us wisdom as we teach and train you, that we would be examples of God’s grace to you, and that the Lord would grab hold of your heart and you would chase after Him with all you have.

I love you forever,

Mama

Fletcher Isaiah

It’s high time for a mid-pregnancy update with our BOY!  We found out just a couple of weeks ago that Cannon will be getting a little brother!
What a blessing this sweet boy is.  The same with Cannon- we had names chosen before the ultrasound and this little guy is our precious Fletcher Isaiah Hodgdon.

We had the ultrasound while Adam’s parents were here for a visit and they graciously watched Cannon for us which was definitely a blessing! Adam and I loved getting to see this baby kicking and squirming and even yawning on the ultrasound.  And our ultrasound tech was the same one who we had Cannon’s ultrasound with!
We were so up in the air as far as what gender we thought this baby was- but what a fun surprise to discover that HE was a BOY!  We’re so excited about having two boys close in age, reusing all the boy clothes we have, and having the privilege to raise little boys into Lord willing, godly men.

I’m feeling SO well these days and certainly not taking it for granted!  Other than sweet baby kicks, a weak bladder and a growing belly, I could easily forget that I am pregnant!

I’m continuing to have SUPER vivid dreams every night which I do chalk up to pregnancy hormones.

Cannon still has no clue, but he does like to give my belly kisses which is so sweet.

We plan on birthing at the same birth center we had Cannon at, and we’ve enjoyed continuing the relationships that we already have built with our midwives.
We’re so grateful for a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby thus far.  We have so very many things to be thankful for and are continually humbled by God’s goodness to us.

The First Trimester

I love all the memories and details I have written down from my pregnancy with Cannon and I wanna do the same with this baby, so I’d thought I’d write down some of the facts and stats from the first trimester.

-I was (and still am a 16 weeks in) nauseas when I first wake up and then again in the evening. I’ve thrown up quite often in the morning , but just once and then I usually feel a lot better. This time around I’ve tried to be way more proactive about eating right away in the morning and trying to get a lot more protein and that has seemed to help quite a bit with the morning sickness. And sometimes I eat like a full on lunch type meal around 9:30am while Cannon is napping!

-I have had very vivid and sometimes stressful dreams.  When I’m not pregnant I dream on occasion but during this pregnancy I have been dreaming every single night.

-I’ve had stronger food cravings this time around- the most notable being corn salsa- I got it in my head one day around 10 weeks or so, and literally couldn’t rest until I’d made some! I then proceeded to eat it everyday for a couple of weeks, even for breakfast! yikes. Same with Cannon, ice cream has not been really my jam during pregnancy, and right now I will take salty over sweet everytime.

-We had an ultrasound around 7 weeks, again at 9 weeks (we also heard baby’s heartbeat with a doppler), and got to hear baby again at about 13 weeks!

-Ultimately all around this pregnancy has been far easier than with Cannon- during the middle of the day I feel really great, and I never had that with Cannon until later.

-I’ve had a little bit of heartburn so far, but not too bad.

-I had lower back pain that literally felt EXACTLY like the pain that I had with Cannon, and decided this time I was going to do something about it, so I’ve seen a chiropractor twice and it has helped a TON. Really grateful to not be in so much pain from that.

-I’m a few weeks out of the first trimester now, but feeling SOO grateful for this baby, for being pregnant at this time of year, for the sweet season we’re in with Cannon, and for all the blessings that we have in our lives.